No one cares

Why should they?

Useless and worthless am I

Always have been and will be

Always sitting alone

In a deep dark corner

Waiting and hoping

That someone will come to me

No one ever comes

No one ever comforts

No one ever really listens

No one ever really understands.

Lost in a world that is not mine

Spinning in circles

Wanting to get off the ride

No way to get off

Hoping for a helping hand

A hug or someone to hold me

To help me get through

All these rough times

All hope is lost

Maybe it was never there

I don’t know

Will just hide forever

Seclusion

To put myself in seclusion

Hidden from the world

The safest place to be

I guess

To hide from the rest

Of the literal world

In a place that is so secret

That only I can find it

Maybe letting people in

My closest friends I guess

And those that truly care

Those that will be there for me

Testing my resolve completely

As to whether I will

Really go into seclusion

Afraid that I will shut people out

Not really wanting to

Shut people out of my life

Better to have them there for me

When I need them most

Tears

Tears streaming down my face

Lost alone and scared

No one to hold me

No one to hug me

Crying the tears of emptiness

The emptiness that is always there

Has always been there

And will never ever leave me

The loss of my children

Loss of my grandparents

And other people that I loved

But never got to say goodbye to

Feeling the tears come

Knowing I can’t let them come

Cuz no one is there to wipe them

No one is there to comfort me

Want to run and hide

That way can’t cry or feel

Won’t have to let anyone

See or hear how I am feeling or anything

Tears coming but not going to let them.

Leave Me Alone

Wishing that everyone

Would just leave me alone

Wish that everyone

Would just let me be

Want everyone to just

Let me keep

Everything bottle up inside

Forever and ever

Hoping that everyone

Will just try to understand

That I need to keep things

Locked up inside me

Wondering why no one listens

Why they don’t want

Me to keep things inside

Just don’t understand

My Life

A picture of loss

And total agony

Of pain and torture

All around me

Running and hiding

Wherever I can find a place

Never wanting them

To find me or where I am

My life a total waste

After what they did to me

And what they did to my body

Damaging it and it being damaged

Living in fear

Of what has happened

And of what will happen to me

Never really understanding

My life with God

And those people He has put in my life

Not wanting to hurt them

But afraid they will leave and abandon me

Afraid they will hurt me

And possibly abuse me

Not wanting to get close to anyone

Because of that fear

Staying in hiding of a sort

Protecting myself

Keeping my distance from everyone

So that they don’t hurt me

Sometimes saying things

How I feel and praying

That they won’t abandon me

Or hurt me in any way

Afraid to trust at all

Afraid to trust God sometimes

Afraid of everything

In total and in general

My life and wanting to change it

To allow people to get close to me

To allow them to help me

To be able to have friends

Worthless

Mean nothing to anyone

Belonging nowhere at all

Searching to fit in

Anywhere at all

Realizing that I am alone

A piece of garbage

Something to be thrown away

And stepped on repeatedly

Never having anyone there for me

Because no one really understands

Or wants to understand

They never want to get to know me

Knowing that no one accepts me

For the person I am at all

Feeling that they don’t care

At all about me in any way

Wanting to disappear

Go where no one can find me

Where no one can hear me and hurt me

Feeling no reason to bother

All I am is a worthless piece of garbage.